Tag Archives: toddler approved

What they should REALLY teach you…

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Today I want to talk about what they SHOULD be teaching you in these “New Parent / Taking Care of Baby” classes they put on right around the same time you’re taking childbirth classes!

Wade and I took these when we were preparing for Tatum.  My personal favorite moment was when the instructor handed Wade an anatomically correct baby doll and asked him how you clean before you re-diaper.  His response?  “Um, that’s why I’m here?”

My how things have changed for us this second time around.  Even with the first kiddo!!  EVERY DAY there’s something new that I think to myself, why didn’t they tell me THIS in class?  THAT would have been helpful!

So here’s my take on if “Child Rearing” was a college degree (and it probably SHOULD be), what the course load might look like….. hypothetically speaking.

–Fluid Volumes 101: Put 4oz in, seconds later 20oz comes back out. Still amazed by this one.

–Diapering 101: I’ve decided lately that this should be a practical lab. Each student gets a completely greased up octopus that’s been injected with copious amounts of sugar or coke or whatever you need to make an octopus insane (I didn’t say this was going to be accurate, right?) and a pack of diapers.  Your grade depends on how well you can get ONE DIAPER on.  For the love of Pete, y’all, how ONE 22lb kid can squirm and worm and twist at that speed with that amount of force is completely beyond my comprehension.

–Diapering 102: Same as above, however this time you get zinc oxide based diaper cream and you have to get it evenly spread on the privates without making a mess.  Really this should probably be a doctorate level class…

–Teething 101: Aw hell. Probably best to just sleep in and skip this class. Otherwise you might never have kids.

–Toddler Supervision 103: This should probably be a practical lab too.  I’m thinking grease up a piglet and piss it off and then let it loose in a toy store. You have to hold on to it for as long as you can. If you lose it, you have to go find it and regain control. (Bonus points if you can be super stealthy about it so the other parents don’t know that’s YOUR kid running wild and without a parent in sight.)

–Eating Out With Kids 101: This one is kind of simple actually.  Don’t do it. I’m serious. Save your sanity.  If you MUST do it, take an electronic device as a crutch. Don’t be afraid of judgement, we ALL swore we would NEVER be THAT parent, and look at us now. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve leaned on that digital crutch a time or two (or maybe several hundred), and if you have ever been in a restaurant with my kids when they’re reaching critical mass, you should THANK ME for saving your dinner.  In the words of Maui from Moana, YOU’RE WELCOME.

–Bedtime 102: Good lord, don’t even.

–Potty Training 101: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *snort*

–Hostage Negotiation: This one you NEED TO ATTEND. For real. I don’t even think we need police negotiators, just grab the nearest mom of a 3-4 year old if you want a PRO to handle the job.  My negotiating skills have NEVER been more on-point than they are at this point in my life. Mama got skills, y’all.

I’m sure there’s all kinds of bonus class opportunities I’m missing here, like perhaps:

  • Toddler Extraction Techniques (For when you’re ready to leave, and they’re NOT.)
  • Feeding Negotiation (Stuff they NEED to be eating, rather than stuff they WANT.)
  • Sticking to your Guns (especially helpful for daddies of daughters, AHEM, Wade)
  • Sticker Behavior Charts 102
  • Medicating your 1-4 year old (no, not THAT kind of medication, I’m talking actual medical necessity ha!)
  • Maintaining your cool, even when you’re not.
  • etc.

I mean, really, the list is endless.  How about “Not Saying Things You Don’t Want Repeated” – I’m ridiculously bad at that one.  I would have failed that class for sure.

What are some lessons the rest of you parental types have learned that you NEVER in a million years thought would be a skill or experience you would ever need?  I’d love to hear others opinions!

 

9/20/17

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Let’s see, biggest news first… apparently the Pars Planitis is flaring back up again.  I’m really disappointed/discouraged because it’s only been a month since I got cleared after an entire month on hardcore steroids.  So I have another month of hardcore steroids to look forward to.  =(  The good news is they don’t know why I’m having problems with this as all my blood tests came back negative, so at least it’s not something BAD, but it seems to like to pop up when I really NEED my vision to be clear and not have a splitting migraine for days on end.  Oh well, back to the sweat fest that is steroids….  =(

The home reno project is coming along.  The fireplace is looking AWESOME, I can’t wait to post pics of it with the crown molding we’re currently doing up top.  Once this thing is painted and the stone is put it it’s going to look freaking amazing.  Wade is a serious genius.  The tile was supposed to be delivered today, but apparently the delivery guy decided to stack one pallet of it on top of the other, took a corner too fast, and the top pallet came crashing off of it and was completely destroyed.  Then they had to go get another pallet to replace that from another store…. THEN they apparently put all three pallets in the back room of the store and forgot to deliver it.  *sigh*  Ugh.  So SUPPOSEDLY the tile will get delivered tomorrow, but we’ll see.  We’re still on track to start install on Monday the 25th, and my next couple days will be clearing out all the stuff in the pantry, hall closet, and the stuff in the hutch and island so we can move all this furniture out of here.  Seriously, it’s like moving.  I hate moving. =/

I did manage to convince Wade that since we were moving the stove out of the kitchen ANYWAY to tile underneath it that I needed a new stove.  =)  I went out and bought a beaut today and I can’t wait for it to be delivered!  =P

The kiddos are doing great!  Tatum is doing AWESOME with her potty training.  The second we took the pressure off and decided we didn’t care and she could go at her own pace was the second she started being stellar at it!  She even asked to go to the potty tonight out at a restaurant and we had our first #2 away from the house/school.  Woot!!!  We may get her out of pull-ups yet!

We’re still struggling through the formula thing with Wyatt but it’s getting better and he’s still growing so I’m trying not to obsess over it as much as I have been.  My SIL says “Watch the baby, not the oz” and our pediatrician says the same.  That’s tough for me, but I’m trying!  Maybe he just has a better metabolism than the average baby?  =)

Some pictures to round out my post!  Enjoy!

OH! I almost forgot, made this “Inside Out Stuffed Pepper” recipe last night and it was super simple and VERY good!  I added Italian Seasonings to mine and a little extra tomato sauce, but it was Hanchar Fam approved, even by Tatum!!!

8/2/17

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My main goal today was to get up to Lonestar Mercantile and get my frames moved around so that normal height people can reach them, and I’m happy to say that not only did that get accomplished but a whole crapload of other stuff got done too!

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We still need to add Stacie’s stuff from Tick Tock Crafts, and I have some other things I’m making for opening like some fall/pumpkin themed stuff and more Allen High School spirit necklaces/jewelry, but so far I think it’s really coming along well!  Excited to share my love of crafts AND vintage (especially the PYREX!)

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Speaking of Pyrex, I finished off my Pink Gooseberry Refrigerator Dish set today!  Isn’t it GORGEOUS?  I really love the pink patterns, they’re really filling up my display cabinets too.  LOL!  And of course now there’s this huge surge in the Pyrex craze so I’m sure some of this stuff is going to start getting expensive to get my hands on! (Not like it isn’t already.)

Wyatt spent some time being unimpressed by me while I worked on my TO DO list for the day, but this afternoon with the weather being so nice we took a trip outside to look around.  I don’t think he was much impressed by that either, but at least it was a change of things to be unimpressed by.  *grin*

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And finally here’s a picture of my sad (but delicious) dinner that I ate by myself because Wade is still at work even though it’s almost 9:30pm.  Delicious Chicken Tacos I made with my amazing Crock Pot:

Crock-Pot 6-Quart Programmable Cook & Carry Slow Cooker with Digital Timer, Stainless Steel , SCCPVL610-S

Can you sense a theme with my cooking?  With a newborn (ok, I guess he’s an “infant” now that he’s over a month) in the house, I am ALL ABOUT the quick and easy.  I’ve been relying heavily on both my Crockpot and Instant Pot the last few weeks to get dinner made and on the table with a minimum of fuss, and since I was doing bedtime for both kids by myself tonight I was really relieved to have dinner done and ready to go.  Tatum even approves of this recipe!!

3-Ingredient Slow Cooker Taco Chicken

  • 2 lbs. boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 4 breast halves)
  • 1 tsp. medium-hot taco seasoning or 1 tbsp. mild taco seasoning (adjust to your desired spiciness – this is for mildly spicy)
  • 1 cup mild salsa
  • for serving: tortillas, shredded cheese, avocado or guacamole, tomatoes, additional salsa, etc.
Directions
  1. Place chicken in bottom of slow cooker. Sprinkle with taco seasoning. Spoon salsa on top of chicken and spread to cover chicken.
  2. Cook on low for 3-4 hours, or on high for 2 hours, until chicken is cooked through. Remove chicken to a plate to cool slightly, along with any salsa that is on top of the chicken. Shred with two forks or your fingers and place in a bowl. Stir in some of the liquid from the slow cooker, starting with ¼ cup and adding more as desired.
  3. Serve chicken in tortillas with toppings as desired.