Tag Archives: babies

Notes from an ordinary Wednesday

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Notes from an ordinary Wednesday…

-Tatum after going through her goody bag from the dentist on Monday: “Are you SERIOUS right now? I can’t believe they gave me THIS toothpaste. *big sigh/eye roll* I don’t LIKE this toothpaste…. are you for REAL?!?”

-“Mommy, can I have an Oreo for breakfast?”….. “After you eat a whole banana, you can have one Oreo”….. “Tell you what, Mommy, how about TWO.”

-Tatum running down the hall to use the bathroom (which is currently occupied by Grandpa taking a shower but I guess he forgot to lock the door)… *major giggles* “GRANDPA IS NEKKID!!!!!” Whoops….. sorry grandpa! 😱🤭

-Wyatt at dinner at Texas Roadhouse….. “Man, he’s turned into such a super grabby kid, you wouldn’t believe how quick he is!!!” while I set him in a high chair and in a split second he grabs an entire bucket of peanuts and dumps them all over himself…… guess he’s not allergic to peanuts…. 😂🤦‍♀️

“What, you wanted these to STAY folded?”

Nerd dog made another appearance at obedience school today, so there’s that…

Oh, and my in-laws brought back a crap ton of chocolate from France, so I’ll see y’all in a couple days or about 20 extra pounds, whichever comes first! 😂

What they should REALLY teach you…

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Today I want to talk about what they SHOULD be teaching you in these “New Parent / Taking Care of Baby” classes they put on right around the same time you’re taking childbirth classes!

Wade and I took these when we were preparing for Tatum.  My personal favorite moment was when the instructor handed Wade an anatomically correct baby doll and asked him how you clean before you re-diaper.  His response?  “Um, that’s why I’m here?”

My how things have changed for us this second time around.  Even with the first kiddo!!  EVERY DAY there’s something new that I think to myself, why didn’t they tell me THIS in class?  THAT would have been helpful!

So here’s my take on if “Child Rearing” was a college degree (and it probably SHOULD be), what the course load might look like….. hypothetically speaking.

–Fluid Volumes 101: Put 4oz in, seconds later 20oz comes back out. Still amazed by this one.

–Diapering 101: I’ve decided lately that this should be a practical lab. Each student gets a completely greased up octopus that’s been injected with copious amounts of sugar or coke or whatever you need to make an octopus insane (I didn’t say this was going to be accurate, right?) and a pack of diapers.  Your grade depends on how well you can get ONE DIAPER on.  For the love of Pete, y’all, how ONE 22lb kid can squirm and worm and twist at that speed with that amount of force is completely beyond my comprehension.

–Diapering 102: Same as above, however this time you get zinc oxide based diaper cream and you have to get it evenly spread on the privates without making a mess.  Really this should probably be a doctorate level class…

–Teething 101: Aw hell. Probably best to just sleep in and skip this class. Otherwise you might never have kids.

–Toddler Supervision 103: This should probably be a practical lab too.  I’m thinking grease up a piglet and piss it off and then let it loose in a toy store. You have to hold on to it for as long as you can. If you lose it, you have to go find it and regain control. (Bonus points if you can be super stealthy about it so the other parents don’t know that’s YOUR kid running wild and without a parent in sight.)

–Eating Out With Kids 101: This one is kind of simple actually.  Don’t do it. I’m serious. Save your sanity.  If you MUST do it, take an electronic device as a crutch. Don’t be afraid of judgement, we ALL swore we would NEVER be THAT parent, and look at us now. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve leaned on that digital crutch a time or two (or maybe several hundred), and if you have ever been in a restaurant with my kids when they’re reaching critical mass, you should THANK ME for saving your dinner.  In the words of Maui from Moana, YOU’RE WELCOME.

–Bedtime 102: Good lord, don’t even.

–Potty Training 101: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *snort*

–Hostage Negotiation: This one you NEED TO ATTEND. For real. I don’t even think we need police negotiators, just grab the nearest mom of a 3-4 year old if you want a PRO to handle the job.  My negotiating skills have NEVER been more on-point than they are at this point in my life. Mama got skills, y’all.

I’m sure there’s all kinds of bonus class opportunities I’m missing here, like perhaps:

  • Toddler Extraction Techniques (For when you’re ready to leave, and they’re NOT.)
  • Feeding Negotiation (Stuff they NEED to be eating, rather than stuff they WANT.)
  • Sticking to your Guns (especially helpful for daddies of daughters, AHEM, Wade)
  • Sticker Behavior Charts 102
  • Medicating your 1-4 year old (no, not THAT kind of medication, I’m talking actual medical necessity ha!)
  • Maintaining your cool, even when you’re not.
  • etc.

I mean, really, the list is endless.  How about “Not Saying Things You Don’t Want Repeated” – I’m ridiculously bad at that one.  I would have failed that class for sure.

What are some lessons the rest of you parental types have learned that you NEVER in a million years thought would be a skill or experience you would ever need?  I’d love to hear others opinions!

 

My weirdness is shining through…

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My weirdness is shining through, but those of you who REALLY know me won’t be surprised….

I don’t have a ton to say today about being a parent, or mommying, or my kiddos, or any of that jazz, but I do have a photo of the super fun peg-family I had made of us around Christmastime that I totally forgot to share.  I totally love it, and it’s totally nerdy to have a peg-family replica.  😉

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Parenting is hard…

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Parenting is hard…. super hard, ridiculously hard, but the hardest part of parenting?

Not laughing when your kid does or says something totally inappropriate or hilarious, because you CAN’T.

You CAN’T laugh, crack a smile, show any sign of weakness, do ANYTHING except keep that stone face mug with eyes trained directly forward, like NOTHING HAPPENED.  Because if you do, if you show any sign at ALL that you thought that was even REMOTELY amusing, they’ll do it again….. and again and again and again.

They’re watching you…..  ALWAYS watching.

Case in point:

You’re driving home from dinner with Granddaddy and the two kids in the car.  Your 3.5 year old daughter starts singing “Uptown Funk”, however because she’s 3.5 years old, she’s conspicuously leaving out the “n” in “Funk”.

Hilarious….. but not good.

So you manage the stone face, you don’t crack. You’re in amazement at your self control.

Then your dad (Granddaddy) starts laughing….. and it’s all over.  You can’t hold it in anymore.  It’s funny, and you’re laughing, and now you’re truly screwed.

Fast forward to today, your husband takes said 3.5 year old into the grocery store to grab a couple things while you wait in the car.  He comes back with a funny look on his face, and he says “Tatum was singing a rather…… inappropriate….. song in the grocery store.  Not sure what it was.  Tatum, what was that song again?”

“Uptown Funk?” I supply helpfully.  “Without the ‘N’?”

Oh…. yeah….. that was it.

Words (Not) to Live By…

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Last night while Wade was putting Wyatt to bed, I was washing dishes from dinner while Tatum was playing in the living room.  We have a rule about no screen time after 6:45pm, so it was pretty quiet except for the running water from the sink.

So here I am, washing away, and all of a sudden I hear her sweet little toddler voice….

“$hit….. I forgot puppy!!!”

And she runs off towards her room.  I thought, surely I heard that wrong, so I followed her down the hall.

“Tatum, what did you just say???”

“I forgot Puppy?”

“Before that.”

“Oh, $hit?”

“Yes honey, that’s a bad word, we don’t say that, ok?  It’s not nice, so we don’t use it.”

“What, $HIT?!?!”

***sigh***

Parenting fail over here, and this one is totally my fault.  I will admit it’s probably the swear word I use the most.  Gonna have to work on curbing that one.  Whoops!

In other, BETTER, parenting news: This little dude is 8 months old today, and I can’t believe how fast time has flown!  He loves grabbing at things (and I mean EVERYTHING that a dude can grab at if you know what I mean, so diaper changes are… challenging), baby food (especially the textured kind), hanging out with the LADIES (total flirt), his Big Sister, and his Bun Bun.  He doesn’t have much he doesn’t like, to be honest, but I guess I’d have to say baby puffs aren’t his cup of tea, and he’s not a huge fan of waking up in the dark if he thinks he’s alone – but once he sees you he’s completely fine.

All this rain is KILLING me with Biscuit, as while she WILL go outside and pee without supervision, she still requires me to come tromping out into the yard (aka, Lake Hanchar) to watch her take a crap.  Then she gleefully runs through the water to the back door because her favorite part (remember, my dog is a super nerd) of getting wet is getting towel dried off.  LOL.  She’s a serious nut.  The good news is she’s pretty much 100% now on potty training, and it’s been super smooth sailing on that front.  Never thought I’d be wearing my muck boots in 4 inches of standing water in my backyard.  Turd floater, for sure.

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“This wet stuff falling from the sky is a little concerning, I think?”

I was also watching her run around today thinking, DANG this dog has gotten tall and lanky on me already!  Pocket Collie, she is not.  LOL

What I don’t understand….

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Is why they can make so many cameras with such amazing video quality so cheaply but they can’t seem to apply that technology to baby monitors?? Someone tell me how it is that a red light camera can capture my license plate at 45mph so freaking clearly but I have a hard time telling if my toddler is actually in her bed at night on our expensive-ass baby monitor. (And yes, I watched the video, and no, there’s no argument, I just paid my embarrassing fine.)

Ridiculous.

So the day started out pretty crappy and pretty much stayed that way or got slightly worse throughout the day. I woke up with a sore scratchy throat and a hideous headache behind my right eye. I can’t tell if I’m getting sick or if the headache is my Pars Planitis acting up again. If it’s the Pars that’s fairly bad considering I’ve been on immunosuppressants for a while now, but if it’s sick that’s ALSO bad since I’ve been on immunosuppressants. I love how my doctor tells me I need to be super careful and try not to get sick but he knows I HAVE TWO YOUNG KIDS. I mean, I basically live with all the germs on earth. As much as I love my kids, toddlers are for real like the walking plague. Gah!!

Then I slammed my finger in the bedroom door trying to get Tatum out the door to school. Luckily I already had her in the van, but that didn’t stop her from hearing my extremely loud swearing coming from inside the house as I bled everywhere looking for a bandaid.

“Mommy, who were you yelling at?”

“No one, sweetie.”

“But you were talking to your mother?”

Gulp. “Ummmm, no, honey, I was just sad that I hurt my finger”

“Oh, ok”

Please, dear lord, don’t let her have heard that clear enough to repeat it at school. I swear, mother of the year I am not. *sigh*

This little cutie kept me occupied for a while, but Checkers has been barfing off and on for a while and today it got so bad I really felt she needed to go to the vet. Wade took her in this afternoon while I stayed with Wyatt.

The good news is she’s probably fine. Bloodwork comes back tomorrow but they gave her meds and fluids to get her back on track. She’s in remarkably good shape for a 16 year old cat. Bad news? Wade came home with pills.

PILLS…… for CHECKERS. #NotIt #NotMYCat

For real, vet, come on….

Wade is all “they gave me this pill popper thing to use…” and I just cut him off.

You’re talking to the cat pilling champ of 1999-2005 here, dude.

And I’m proud to say, I still got skillz. Wade came in to “assist” but I had that pill jammed down that cat’s hatch so fast she had no clue she even got medicine. Wade just sat there stunned and asked “Wtf just happened here? That cat doesn’t even know she just got owned. For real, she’s still HAPPY?!? That was freaking awesome.”

Hazard pay, my friend, because if you want something done right, you hire the professional to do it. Isn’t that the way big business works?

It kind of backfired on me though because now he wants me to go get a job at the vet seeing as apparently none of their techs seemed as competent. Lol!

The day ended up with more…… torrential…… flooding……. rain. I seriously can’t take much more rain. I had to put waders on to take the dog out to go potty in our backyard. Tomorrow Biscuit and I are going to practice dock diving off the back patio. This rain needs to STOP ALREADY!

I think the cookies are trying to tell me something….

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I’m hoping this means I should just keep on keeping on with The Carousel Cowgirl and things will start kicking into high gear! I’ve already had a much more successful Jan/Feb than I expected, so there’s that! I get in these funks with my crafting, and this year it seems to be worse because I’m also in a SAHM funk (more on that later), but I’m trying hard to drag myself out of it and land on top of my game again.

Poor Wade, his cookie didn’t even have a fortune in it. I wonder what that means? Can’t be good. Ha!!

SAHM Funk: Let’s get real for a minute. I know this is totally going to sound very “First World Problem” to a lot of you, but lately I’m having a tough go of the SAHM thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love being at home with Wyatt, and the extra time with Tatum when she’s not at school. I am also super grateful to Wade for making it all possible for me. But after a while, there’s only so much sitting at home staring at your adorable son who is incapable of having a conversation with you, adult or otherwise, that one can take. I feel so isolated so much of the time. It’s a funny cycle because the more isolated you feel, the more you kind of hole up in the house and dread going out.

I know, it seems stupid, but it’s real. I spend a lot of time with no adult interaction and it’s starting to get to me. I have very few friends who don’t work, and so yes, I need to make some more SAHM friends. The problem with that is that the flu is so bad right now it’s a little scary venturing out to playgroups and whatnot. Also (and those of you who know me well may be surprised at this) but I’ve started having a lot of social anxiety centered around these Moms Groups.

“I don’t know anyone that will be there.”

“What if no one talks to me?”

“What if they don’t like me?”

Dude, it’s like school days all over again. I start to freak out a little inside at the thought of having to CREATE intelligent conversations, when inside that’s all I’m craving.

Weird. I know. *sigh*

So now I’ve decided I need to “date” the friends I have, and force myself into some new social situations to make some new ones.

Sounds easy, right?

If only. 😦

Wow, it has been a LONG time…..

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So, like almost everything I start with good intentions, this blog has gone by the wayside. LOL!  So sue me, I have a commitment problem. =)

Let’s see….  The Stay at Home Momming thing is going pretty smooth!  Of course, I have the threenager in daycare still so technically I only have Wyatt and myself to care for, but still, I’m feeling fairly good about it.  Ha!  I have dinner on the table, laundry done, bills paid, and even still have time to crank out my crafts AND I’ve started a new booth at The Hilltop Cottage in Sunnyvale!  If you live locally, you NEED to go check that place out, it’s super cute and the owners are AMAZING people!  Love them!

Wyatt is now almost 7 months old!!  Can you believe it??  Time flies by so fast!  Tatum continues to both completely entertain and completely frustrate me with her antics, but I’m guessing that’s just what being a Threenager is all about.  I’m getting ready to read a book recommended to me by a friend, “1-2-3 Magic”, and I’m hoping that will give me some insight on how to curb some of her more….. undesirable behaviors.  The other issue we’re having right now is potty training.  She was doing AMAZING for 5-6 weeks and all of a sudden she has absolutely no interest in using the potty anymore.  She’ll still go #2 in the potty probably 95% of the time, but peeing happens anywhere and everywhere and no matter what I try I just get “It’s ok, Mommy, I’m not potty trained”.

Cue beating my head against a wall….  *sigh*

The other nightmare we’re having right now is bedtime.  I’ve tried just about everything there too and am hugely unsuccessful.  She doesn’t cry or scream or any of that, she just plays by herself in her bed….. for HOURS after we put her to bed.  It doesn’t seem to affect her if I take her animals away, or threaten anything else for that matter, even if I follow through.  Someone tell me this is a phase and it will end.  I’ll give you cookies.

My eyes have improved, I started immunosuppressants beginning of December, and had a checkup last Friday.  He was really pleased with my progress, and I’VE been really pleased that my eyesight has started clearing up and my headaches are coming now few and far between….  YAY!!!  The immunosuppressants are a little scary, but hopefully I’ll only be on them for a year and then they’ll wean me off and see if my immune system can reset itself.  Time will tell, I guess.  I did end up totally embarrassing myself today as I went to get my CBC/Chem Panel drawn (to make sure the drugs aren’t wrecking my liver among other issues) and for the first time in years I passed out while getting my blood drawn….. TWICE.  Super embarrassing because I had taken Baby Wyatt with me and one poor nurse had to look after him while the other one tried to keep me from falling out of the chair both times.  UGH.  I seriously thought I was past that, but I guess not.  =(  I probably wouldn’t have passed out the second time but the person taking my blood decided to launch into the gory story of why she hates the dentist as I was coming around from the first time and that just did me in a second time.  =(  I’m such a weenie.

Some good news though, (though if you’re on my facebook or instagram at all, you already know this), we’re getting a puppy!!!  Her name is Biscuit and she comes home TOMORROW.  She’s an 8 week old Border Collie puppy and I couldn’t be more excited!  Tatum is pretty amped up about it too, and I plan to use them both to wear each other out!  One of Tatum’s “chores” is going to be to “help” me with the evening walk, and also help me with her evening feeding and potty times.  I’m hoping the sense of responsibility will help her with her little hard-headed phase she’s going through.  She does love to help, so I think she’s going to really enjoy having some little jobs to do.

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How can you not go nuts over that cute little face?? (pictured at 6 weeks)

We also finished off the fireplace and tiling projects and I can’t get over how amazing our house looks.  Of course, it’s now COVERED in toddler and baby toys and whatnot, but hey, living the dream right?  Of course we are.  =)  Two kids, a dog, and a cat.  Isn’t that the “All-American Family?”  =P

More to come tomorrow after I pick up Miss Biscuit!  And I hope to keep this a tad more updated now, but we’ll see how that goes….  LOL!